The Power of Accountability Calls
A simple and effective tool for building discipline and staying accountable... with friends
A friend introduced me to weekly accountability calls in October 2023. He had been doing these calls for years with two other guys. It was a unique concept to me; I didn’t really understand the point of it.
Another friend, Akshay, and I shadowed one of their weekly calls out of curiosity. We both had some habits we had been trying to cultivate but struggled to be consistent beyond a month. I came into the call with a lot of skepticism. I mean, come on, what could go wrong with three type-A guys talking about themselves? But to our surprise, this call was anything but a cliché dude-bro hangout with surface-level conversation. The three of them patiently allowed each other to discuss their past weeks, the highs and the lows. Even more surprising was their level of mature emotional intelligence and the amount of support and advice they provided for one another.
Since shadowing that call, Akshay and I have not missed a weekly accountability call. Even when our schedules wouldn't allow us to jump on a call (I live between the US & Italy, and he lives in India), we have used long-form voice notes to discuss our week and plans for the following week.
Structure of the Calls
Like most positive habits and mindsets, accountability calls are deceptively simple: schedule a mandatory weekly call at an agreed-upon time. The mandatory aspect is crucial—attendance is not optional. This ensures the success of the calls.
Each participant discusses their previous week, including challenges faced, objectives hit, targets missed, lessons learned, or simple observations about their personal or professional behavior. The calls aren't restricted to any specific arena or topic; their purpose is to hold each other accountable to the objectives or goals they set out for themselves.
As a side note, we have found that the calls work best with 2-3 people maximum, as any number above makes scheduling a nightmare and ultimately fails to be an effective tool for keeping people accountable weekly.
Our Unique Situations
Akshay and I use these calls to navigate significant changes in our lives. He transitioned from an investor in New York City to studying Buddhist philosophy and meditation full-time in Dharamshala. I transitioned from a consultant in New York City to a full-time traveler and quasi-homeless vagabond. Given our untraditional lives, our calls focus more on the personal side rather than the professional.
My Accountability Goals
Here are my current accountability goals for each week:
Morning meditation session
Evening meditation session
One hour of writing per day
We also made it interesting by adding a penalty when we missed our goals. For every accountability task that I miss, I owe $1 to Akshay, and vice versa. This is enough to sting, but not enough to bankrupt either of us. Every week, $21 is at stake.
We ultimately decided to add this monetary aspect to help kick off the discipline and keep a weekly tally of our accountability goals' progress.
Importance of the Calls
Even though my goals are simple, I often struggle to meet them daily. These calls provide a formal space to track my progress and reflect on my successes and failures. They help me analyze the importance of my practices in three key ways:
Pre-call write-up: Usually done on Sundays, I can review my week, assess my performance, and identify important topics for discussion.
Goal tracking: The calls help me keep a tally of my progress. How many sessions did I miss? Did I maintain consistency?
Reflective analysis: These calls offer a chance to discover why some weeks are more successful than others.
Mental Health Benefits
It’s hard to overstate the mental health benefits. These accountability calls are with a great friend, someone who knows me well and understands the craziness that is in my mind. And that's true of me to him. These calls give both of us time to open up about our week. We can talk about everything that was our week: our successes, our failures, our joy, our pain. We can talk about any topic that comes to mind. Our judgment is reserved for our actions, not for us as individuals. These calls reinforce our friendship and allow for both of us to be vulnerable, knowing that through this vulnerability, we are providing the space for our growth. These calls are more than simple accountability calls. There are times when both of us support each other's path of growth and betterment.
Conclusion
Accountability calls are more than just tools for tracking goals; they are a powerful means of personal development and support. I am a firm believer that freedom comes from discipline. With these weekly accountability calls, I am supported toward a more disciplined life of conscious and intentional living. Life is short enough and becomes even shorter when you're on autopilot.
I encourage anyone reading this to start an accountability call with a friend(s). It’s a simple yet powerful tool for growth and fulfillment. And it's an excellent way to deepen a friendship!